Background: I wrote this for The Gladys and as a way to cope with all the worries I had and have about life after high school.

TW/CW: anxiety.

Last revised: June 21, 2022

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For Unsure Careers

(Lyrics used are from “Que Será Será” by Doris Day and Frank De Vol and “Light Tunnels” by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis)

 

For uncertainties and doubts,

for anxieties and fears,

for what-ifs and detours,

for changes of plans,

for new courses,

for unsure directions,

for confusing, grey area maps,

for all of the above,

This is for you

and for me.

 

Que será, será

Whatever will be, will be

 

Church ends. Old ladies and grandmas approach you and ask the bone-drilling, nail-biting, apprehension-filled question:

“What are you going to do after you graduate?”

They inquire it with a hopeful, patient smile

All you can do is return a shrug and a few ideas

 

They soothe their lips with “that’s okay, dear”

I don’t know if it was more for them or for me

“You’ll figure it out. Don’t fret.”

“Haven’t you got any options?”

 

It’s as if they expect your answer to be filled with life, inspiration, certainty, and confidence

But you have none of those

only the exact opposite

 

“What are you going to study next year?”

The last two words hang in the air

As the reality of time startles your soul

Awakens anxiety that trembles bold

 

In high school, they just tell you to analyze it all yourself

In the time you don’t have

Stressed out in classes, no time to even think about colleges.

Figure it out, deal with it

Suck it up, life’s like that

I mean, that’s what they do for everything else,

Need help managing stress? Managing your time?

Figure it out. 

 

You make the decisions

Deduce this from that

Weigh the pros and cons

On a scale that’s been broken for years

 

It’s the same scale your older sibling used

And your parents used

And the one your younger siblings will use 

And the future generations will pass it down

 

Although the future is a good thing to consider, but

There is so much pressure

put among juniors and seniors

on having everything figured out on their fingers

 

And if you’re unsure…?

Rest assured you’ll be in distress

Try to avoid the temptation to come up with a quick solution

Just go to the same college everyone else is going to

Without any other real reason, but at least you’ll have an answer

 

one question answered

a million more arise

 

Que será, será

Whatever will be, will be

The future’s not ours to see

Que será, será

What will be, will be

 

It is the insecurities of not fitting in like everyone else when graduation comes

That’s what it boils down to

And the time you have is running out

Like the grains of sand in an hourglass

 

I have this map with the paths I could take

At different times in my life it was fresh, colorful, and bright with certainty and knowledge.

Now it looks aged, faded, and empty. 

Folded, unfolded, and refolded a million times as if one more look at it would help me see something I missed. 

I am supposed to plot a course on a map I have to hand-draw myself

There’s substantial grey area

Where would I even start?

 

So with thousands of possible careers, how on Earth should I choose the “right” one?

Where would I end?

I have no idea where I’d end up, but I’ve thought about the end quite too much.

Does the destination or the journey matter more?

 

Que será, será

Whatever will be, will be

 

Look at everyone else, they look so put together, I bet they have it all organized, all figured out…

Ay yo, reality check. Be reasonable

Everyone else is just like you.

They’re doubtful, unsure, uneasy, heistant, reluctant.

 

And the students with the 4.0?

Even they have flaws

We’re all dying on the inside. 

Everyone has a thing that they obsess over, or something that pushes them over the edge with anger if something does or doesn’t happen. 

We’re all stressed out, worried about so many things, but 

 

Look outside the window

See those trees?

That pine tree, see how beautiful it is, how simple it is.

Slow down. Be like the pine tree: calm, at ease, patient, and still.

 

Que será, será

Whatever will be, will be

 

How did I become a junior? I swear, 

I’m just a kid

Time slips away from me

out of my hands like a rope

 

Now I’m almost a senior

where DOES time go?

It passes

It just passes me by and I forget to live it

 

But they say time flies when you’re having fun

 

With the endless choices and decisions of what college to go to,

What to study, 

And what to do with my life,

It seems I am so small in this world, yet God has the biggest map and plan ever

Not for just my life, but everyone’s.

And that’s an amazing thing to think about.

 

I wish I could see God’s map for my life, but sadly, I can’t.

I don’t know my purpose in all the details I want in this complicated world, 

But, perhaps I can slow down and answer all my worrisome questions about the future with answering:

What would Jesus do?

He would love His Heavenly Father and everyone around Him, especially the braggy kids with the 4.0s.

 

I can’t see God’s plan for my life, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t one.

It’s not going to be clear to us, but messy and muddy, so

 

Que será, será

Whatever will be, will be

The future’s not ours to see

Que será, será

What will be, will be